"Let me love you a little more before you're not little anymore."
While I dislike seeing our children sick, like our Ella was here, I appreciate the little moments where they stop, as though "pause" was clicked on a remote, and you get to hold, a little more deliberately, the time that you have with them. As we all experience as parents, I've discovered the bittersweetness of raising children. The continual cycle of saying hello and goodbye. Hello to the new version that they're growing into, and goodbye to the younger version that they leave behind. And while you love every version that they are and ever will be, and while it's equally as exciting to see how they grow and develop, there's also a real grief, that almost seems like it shouldn't be there, to have to let go of versions of them that you still love but never will get to hold again. Time needs to have more directions to it than only forward.
This hit home for me. I have really been struggling with the empty nest syndrome. My youngest of three moved out in October. Two of my kiddos live 3 hours away, which is so hard because I don’t drive. What I wouldn’t do to be able to tum back the clock now and again, to have the constant chatter and giggles from my kids surrounding me.